Prodigal
by Xanderlike
Summary: Han and Leia weren't the only ones who lost a son when Ben Solo became Kylo Ren. Chewbacca reflects on his loss when Kylo Ren (Ben Solo?) comes to meet the Resistance on Mustafar. (Set in my "Bound" storyline.)


He's the first person that Han introduces his newborn son to. _"Ben, this is your Uncle Chewbacca. As long as you're with him, you'll always be safe."_

He's the first person to hold the infant Ben after his parents. The tiny little bundle that weighs nothing in his Wookie hands suddenly feels like he's carrying the weight of the world when those little eyes look at him. "Hello, little Ben. I am very happy to meet you at last. I will keep you safe. I promise."

He puts together Ben's first baby carriage himself. Han doesn't have the patience for it and Leia doesn't have the time. He doesn't trust anyone else to make sure that Ben is safe. He just can't risk it.

When Han and Leia want alone time- which seems to happen and less and that worries him- he takes Ben to the park. First in the baby carriage with the droids following behind. Later, when Ben is hold enough to walk, he slows down his steps so the little boy can keep up with his long Wookie legs, his hand always firmly (but gently because he knows what his strength can to do if he's careful) holds Ben's hand.

He has to keep him safe. It's the promise he made Han and Leia. It's the promise he made himself.

It's the promise he makes Ben every time he sees the boy.

When Ben is a little older, he takes him into parks that have trees that are old enough, big enough, for a Wookie to climb them. Making sure that Ben is safely attached (because Ben is precious to him beyond any promise he will ever make) he climbs those trees at night and holds the boy securely in his lap and tells him the names of the stars above them, showing him the star of his home world Kashyyyk, promising him that someday they would go there and climb trees that were older than intelligent life.

Ben listens and asks him to repeat the promise again and again.

Somehow, that day never comes.

Han Solo is not meant to live no one world. It's not in his nature to work for a government, no matter how benign. Leia is not meant to live a smuggler's life, moving from world to world, and a ship- no matter how fond Han is of the _Millennium Falcon_ \- is no place for a child to grow up. She insists on remaining behind- and that Ben stay with her where it's safe.

He hates how the separation from Ben- _their_ Ben; _his_ Ben- becomes longer and longer. He wants to beg that the boy be allowed to come with them, but the look of pain and sadness in Han's eyes when they talk of his family always dissuades him.

When the boy is six, Han _finally_ brings Ben along for a trip on his birthday. Nothing special; just a quick run to deliver supplies to Luke's new Jedi Academy. It's not much, but it's something and he gets to have his boy in his arms again.

As soon as Ben leaps into his arms he knows there's something wrong. His boy is trembling. And he feels a shadow fall over his heart. "What's wrong, Ben? What's wrong?" And he holds him as tightly as he dares, wanting to keep him safe, trying to keep his promise.

 _"It's nothing now. I'm with you. I'm safe because I'm with you."_

Ben takes to flying as though he's been doing it all his life. Han is proud of his boy, bragging about how he'll let Ben take over his business so he can retire, and the boy makes the kind of earnest promise that only little boys make that he'll be the best smuggler in history.

Luke Skywalker isn't the boy he had been when he first met him. The farm boy has become a Jedi Master, and he feels a trace of sorrow over that loss. Luke had been enthusiastic, so full of life. Only someone like that could have believed that there was still good in Darth Vader. Only someone like that could have actually _proved_ it.

Ben is shy around his uncle, shy and afraid. Luke has never been a part of Ben's life, and that's a logical explanation for Ben's fear, but somehow that doesn't ease his fears. He asks Ben about it.

 _"He's the dream man. I see him standing over me with his sword like he wants to hurt me …_ "

"Luke will never hurt you," he tells the boy. "He's your uncle. He loves you."

 _"He doesn't love me. Mommy and Daddy don't love me."_

"Ben! Why would you say such a thing?"

 _"Daddy never stays. He always leaves. And Mommy loves her work more than me. She's always busy. When you're away the only ones I have are Threepio and R2D2."_

"Your mother wants to make things safe for you and other little boys and girls like you, Ben. She loves you. I know she loves you. And your father loves you too. He's just not good at staying in one place. I know they love you."

 _"Someday you'll be studying with your Uncle Luke, Ben,"_ Han tells his son as they leave the Jedi Academy. _"Won't you love that?"_

 _"No. I don't want to go. Something terrible will happen if I go stay at that place. I know it will!"  
_

 _"You're just imagining things, Ben. Luke is a Jedi Master there. Nothing will hurt you there. I promise."_

 _"You never keep your promises! You're just like Mommy! You want me to go away! You all want me to go away!"_

And then Ben does something terrible and wonderful at the same time.

He _lashes_ out with the Force.

Han Solo is hurled back by the power of his six year old son. Against the hyperspace speed controls.

Ben stares at his father as though he doesn't know him. He raises a childish fist …

"Ben, no!" he cries. He doesn't draw his bow caster because it's unthinkable that he could ever fire on his boy … even to save Han.

And Ben looks at him and realizes what he's done and he does the thing that's wonderful: _he stops._

The little boy flies from the cockpit, trying to get as far away from them as possible.

 _"There's too much Vader in him,"_ Han whispers. _"Chewie, what am I going to do? What am I going to do?"_

And he has no answer for his brother because Ben needs him more than his father and he races after the little boy. "Ben! Ben! Answer me!"

He's terrified the boy will try to get into an escape pod and eject himself. He's terrified that the pod will explode if he does that or that Ben will die lost in space, suffocating before he can die of starvation of thirst. He's terrified he's going to lose his boy.

 _"Daddy's afraid of me,"_ the little boy says from a corner. _"He's always going to be afraid of me. I'm all alone."_

"You're not alone! I'm here, Ben! I'm here!" He kneels down and takes his boy in his arms. Feels childish arms wrap around his neck while childish tears wash his fur. And he wants to keep his promise but he doesn't know how.

Han stays away more than ever after that. He won't listen when Chewbacca tells him he's only making things worse. Han is terrified that his boy will see his fear and not realize how much he loves him, how much he wants to save him … but he doesn't know _how._

Leia doesn't know how either, but she keeps trying. She tries meditation. Medication for his son. Counseling. She delves into Jedi lore, trying to learn enough to save her son from the Darkness that seems to be growing stronger in him every day.

And then she admits defeat.

 _"We've tried everything else. Ben needs more help than we can give him. He belongs with Luke. He belongs at the Academy."_

 _"No he doesn't,"_ Han argues. _"Ben's not like Luke's other students. He doesn't have the temperament to be a Jedi. He'll rip himself apart trying."_

 _"Who's going to help him, then?_ _ **You?**_ _You haven't been alone with him for more than ten minutes at a time since he was six years old!"_

"He needs to stay with us!" He roars the demand out because he can't let Ben down … he can't fail _can't_. "With his family! Luke can't save him! We have to save him!"

 _"We can't, Chewie. We can't. Han isn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough. Even you can't save Ben., Luke is our only hope. I don't want to lose him either, Chewie. But I've got nothing else left."_

They take him to the Jedi Academy.

Ben is a teenager now. Nearly a man. He's angry and sullen the whole trip. Ignoring his parents attempts to spend time with him. Locking himself in his cabin and not even allowing _him_ to see him.

And when they get there, Ben looks at them all with desperation in his eyes. _"Please don't make me stay here! I'll be good I promise! Don't make me stay! Please don't make me stay. Something bad is going to happen if I stay. Please ..."_

And for a wild moment, he thinks about forcing Han and Leia off the _Millennium Falcon_ at gun point. He thinks about taking _his_ boy- and Ben is as much his as he was ever theirs and he made a promise to the boy- and fleeing. To Kashyyyk. Or Tatooine. Or any of a thousand other worlds he knows about- any place other than this tranquil world which feels his heart with such _dread_ for his boy.

But he doesn't.

It's Han and Leia who made this decision, and he knows that it was made out of love. And he says nothing, does nothing, as Ben's parents bundle him off to Luke Skywalker.

"We'll come visit you, Ben. I promise." The words are the only thing he has to offer.

And Ben looks at him, and there's such _terror_ and _despair_ in his eyes that it makes him want to weep. _"The next time you see me you'll try to kill me."_

And Ben walks to his uncle like a man walking to his execution.

For years there's quiet, and he begins to hope. They haven't made it back to the Academy- something _always_ seems to come up- but Luke's reports on Ben's progress are comforting and he begins to lose his fear, begins to think that it was just a boy's childish fear of the unknown …

And then the Academy is _gone,_ and Ben is _gone,_ and a monster wears his face, killing and murdering his way through the galaxy at the head of the new First Order.

Han is devastated. He seems to grow old overnight. _"We were trying to do the right thing, Chewie,"_ he says more than once. _"We just wanted to help Ben. We just wanted to help him ..."_

Luke vanishes like the wind, leaving only R2D2 behind. Leia and Han drift apart … each blaming themselves, blaming each other … for what happened to Ben.

Han drifts back into smuggling, taking outrageous chances that he would have avoided as a younger man. He's seeking something … death or absolution.

Leia forms the Resistance to oppose the First Order, refusing to believe the official line of the New Republic that diplomacy can solve their problems with the First Order. She and Han do not even kiss goodbye the last time they see each other.

Then the boy, Finn, and the girl, Rey, come into their lives. Finn is a good kid, who reminds him of Luke in his younger days. Rey is … astonishing … and starts to fill the hole in his heart that Ben Solo left.

They have a map to Luke.

And the thought comes to his mind that maybe there's still a chance for his boy. Maybe Luke can _finally_ save his boy. He's willing to do anything to make that happen...

And at long last, so is Han.

And finally at long last … he sees his boy again. Ben is dressed in black and wearing a mask like a monster. Or is the monster wearing Ben like a mask? He's not entirely sure.

They aren't close enough to hear everything that's being said, but he can hear the urgency and love in Han's voice, the torment in Ben's.

And for a brief moment, he thought they saved him.

And then the light saber goes through Han's heart and his bow caster is in his hands and he fires at the monster that killed Han, the monster that hollowed out Ben Solo and put him on like a suit of clothing. The monster named Kylo Ren …

And when the bolts hit the monster, he looks up with Ben's face and there's a look in his eyes: " _The next time you see me you'll try to kill me."_

He knew. In some way- in the way of that thrice cursed Force which had taken him- his boy had known this was going to happen.

He loses Han, and he's lost Ben, but now there is Rey. She's not them, but she's enough on her own to keep him going. They survive, and when the map to Luke Skywalker is revealed, he takes her to Luke in hopes that Luke can train her the way he failed to train Ben.

But Luke isn't the same person either. Guilt over Ben has darkened the Jedi Master, embittered him.

But Rey is stubborn and she stays.

And a strange thing happens.

Rey begins talking about Ben. _"He's not what I thought he was, Chewie. I've … I don't know how to explain it. I've_ _ **talked**_ _to Ben."_

Ben. She calls him Ben. And there's an intimacy in the way she says Ben's name … a longing that would have made him happy in another lifetime. "He's not Ben anymore. He's Kylo Ren. He'll kill you if you give him the chance, Rey."

 _"There's still light in him, Chewie. I can feel it. He can come back, Chewie. He can come back!"_

He doesn't believe her. He can't believe her. He's lost Ben once. Losing his boy all over again will kill him.

But when she hatches her desperate, _stupid_ plan he agrees because it's Rey who's asking and it's Ben she's trying to save. Any chance- no matter how small- is worth the risk if it will bring his boy back.

He's not surprised it fails.

He _is_ surprised that Rey does not give up on Ben. He hears her muttering her name in her sleep … he can see her seeming to reach out and touch someone who isn't there. He grieves for the boy, and he fears for Rey.

And then … when Leia is dying and nothing is left to them … Rey takes them to Mustafar. He knows this place. He knew what it was to Darth Vader. He knows what it must mean to Kylo Ren. (Not his boy because Ben is gone and this thing that wears him is not Ben Solo and will never be Ben Solo. Not to him.)

And when he sees Kylo Ren coming towards them, coming for Leia, coming for Ben's mother … he opens fire without a second thought.

And yet … Kylo Ren defends himself but he does not fight back. He gives his light saber to Rey. He stands and weights as he approaches.

He looks at that scarred face that _offends_ him so mightily because it's Ben's face and a monster is wearing it like a trophy. He feels the urge rising in him to tear that face off …

" _Chewie, please,_ " Rey begs, her hand on his arm … her other hand on Kylo's.

And he makes himself look again at the monster with his boy's face. He tries to find Kylo Ren in those eyes, but he doesn't. He sees something else. He sees someone else.

He sees Ben Solo.

And he looks at Rey and he looks at Kylo- Ben?- and sees the thing between them- sees the _love_ between them and he knows that the monster isn't there any more.

Kylo Ren is gone.

Ben Solo is back. His boy is back.

And he wants to crush him into his arms. He wants to hug him like the little boy he once was. He wants to cry because Han isn't there to see his son come.

But he doesn't. He doesn't because he's afraid if he does that … if he starts to do that … he will never be able to stop. He will never be able to let his boy go again.

He clasps his boy's- no, Ben isn't a boy anymore and he grieves to think of the guilt that Ben will carry with him all the rest of his days- shoulder and says two words: "Welcome back."

His son is home.

 _Author's Note: I just can't believe that Chewie would never have been a part of young Ben Solo's life given how close he is to Han. I can't believe he wouldn't have loved Ben because we all know that Chewie is a big softie at heart. So I wrote this thing._


End file.
